Selasa, 01 April 2014

Last Month Thought

Baghban

I watched Baghban this afternoon with my mommy and the undying love in their 40th marriage age between the husband and wife, Raj Malhotra and Pooja, reminded me of another elderly couple I met in random mini bus.

The mini bus was filled with passengers so that it's impossible for them to sit in the same row. The wife should sit in the back seat while the husband, in the front seat next to the driver.

The husband looked kinda sad though they would be separated for only some minutes. And the radiant love naturally shown by their eyes warm my heart.


I Never Be a Fan

Too many people admire a bunch of people with certain abilities and talents what they called idols nowadays. They are very fond of what their idols did, follow what they wear and make it a trend. They kinda faith, too.

I myself sometimes like them; some people with certain talents. But I'd rather use 'favourite' instead of 'idolize'. I follow news about them but it doesn't bother my emotion. They are happy, I felt it's nice to see others' happiness. They stricken by some big problems, oh, hopefully they can solve them. They made hits, I think the hard efforts were worth it. If they were failed, I think they should practice more.

Even it's not because I 'favourite' them but it's just a humanity. Same feeling I gave to common people around me. And never hope I'll be as faith as those fans. Because I won't.

Korean Beauty

One private TV channel in my country rebroadcast Jewel In The Palace for its 10 years commemoration. It's my forever-favourite saeguk drama beside The Great Queen Seon Dok. Now I realized almost 97% of the casts inJewel were women.

Pretty women exactly. Much different from Korean women nowadays, the women in Jewel, with their ten-years-ago face had the natural beauty, in my sight. 

Yellowish-white skin tone, different face and its parts shape, and of course there was absolutely no resemblance among them.


Fantasy

When something I wish doesn't gonna happen to be real, I fly my mind to create a happiest moment where everything I dream of to be lived perfectly. No dark shadow, no frustrate, no tears.

Black and gray are going to be eliminated. Bright colors are enough.


Miscommunication

It's not a bipolar. When I canged to be a rude one in a sudden to someone, though I've become a cheerfully smiled to another one before. It's only because there's a feeling held in my heart for a long time that now becomes a solid hatred.

You are not misbehave, just sometimes, no no. So often your ignorance to so many things happen in this family made me kinda hate you. 

No hating actually. I just don't feel a comfort to be siblings. Can you change that? Stop this miscommunicatioan between two of us.

As I know you love me, so I can learn to love you more.


Start Over

It's not easy to start over. It's a test well known for people dare to bribe huge amount of money to pass. Though they, my closest people, ridiculed my principle: it's enough for me to study and pray. I keep being on my own.

I've imagined what I will do if I pass the whole test phases, but it's the truth. I'm failed. I try my best to accept the fact that it's impossible if the whole candidates been accepted. It's my dream. One of my biggest dreams. Once failed made me became spiritless compared to my first test which was full of spirit. That first one who rejected my existence to be a part of them.

Please, support me..


If You Need...

There's a friend of mine who kinda piss me off. She won't reply my text if we were in a 'competition' moment. She considered me as her competitor, maybe. 

Ever I asked her if she knew about something I need, she replied yes. But when I asked what it was, she gave no reply.

So I lured her with something she need and she dodged that she had replied my text but it had been waiting to be sent by the operator.

And now, I know such an important info she needs. But a silence treatment is good, I think.


Back When I was a Baby

This afternoon, came two women who used to be my teachers in kindergarten. I don't remember them anymore, though. They came here to invite my parents to one of the teacher's daughter's wedding. It's the first time after years they meet again with my mom, so my mother asked them to come into home to have some little chats. And the flashback starts.

One of the teachers recalled what a 'naughty' little girl I was in the class. My parents and relatives who saw me grow up said the same things, too. But one thing they remembered the most was an incident in baby daycare where the parents in the estates housing entrusted their children in when they were working.

My mom retailed:
When my mother came to the daycare to pick me up, the nanny innocently told her that she was confused why I cried. When my mother saw my condition, she was shocked for what she saw. I sobbed and there were many bite marks in my body. And it's predicted I'd cried for hours. 

The nanny asked my mother to resolve it amicably but she firmly refused that. She instead asked my father to complain the problem to the supervisor to discharge the nanny. And it's true. According to my mother, the nanny never back to work in the daycare until her retirement.

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